Just to being
by AcqueCristalline
Summary: A reflection on Allen's character! On one of his emotion... the loneliness. It's more good than what looks like! REVIEW!


**Well... it was evening, I was alone, and I had an idea from my other one story (as a dream), so I wrote that. It's strange... very strange! But it's good, I know that. If you don't understand something, please, tell me. **

**Good reading and review!! (pleeeeeaseeeee!!!)**

**Ah! And the poetries... I wrote that, like the song. It's ALL mine!**

_Why the dreams,_

_even so beautiful,_

_leave in your mouth_

_a bitter taste...?_

_Why the tears,_

_even melted into the most sweet sugar,_

_are still so sad...?_

**Just to be...**

When no one waits you, when coming home, that coldness like hard ice hits you, as thousand blades into your heart, and you can't do anything, just stay still because no one is there to hug you... it's sad, when the loneliness becomes your only life.

_He believed that, just one instant but he believed... as the hope knocked directly on his heart, he believed, he hoped, because he could only do that, and finally. something could be done... but all went wrong: he was mistaken._

Why? Sometimes it's so hard to bear:

to come home, sitting on your bed, and leaving your scarlet eyes flying around the room... the _empty_ room, where the only thing visible are a table, a chair, the window- it's raining, like inside you, it's raining and you can't do nothing but stare at it... is the sky crying for you? chilly tears on the glass of the window... on your cheeks- a brown suitcase...

Why is the life so hard to bear?

Why is _the loneliness_ so hard to bear?

_He believed that, just one instant, and now, he was alone again. Again... and forever...?_

He walks on, like his father used to say, to keep his promise to him, and he's going, until the day- soon or later...- of his own death... But why do his legs hurt so much?

_Someone found him... and he couldn't believe that: someone was again with him: he wasn't alone, he wasn't alone..._

Why does his heart hurt so much? And he isn't able to tell anyone that... he's scared... to find out no one is there for him, not anymore, he's alone again. _Again._

_But... everything ended... That person leaved him into his road, into his dream- was it his dream... right?- and he only could go on alone, like always, a little spot of his heart, still crying, but he ignored it: after all, it was his promise to himself, to do that, to destroy them, all... –was that oath made to atone his sin...?-_

I take a step on a road \ an icy road outside the world

I try to not slip away and fall \ on the cold ground made of frost.

I go on maybe wishing for \ a chair where I could sit down:

and try once more to stop and think, \ think about my life.

_And he finally came there, where his promise rested. He would even smile... but he didn't. _

_Why?_

_Smile alone was so futile..._

He comes back, always. And he thinks no one's waiting for him. He comes back, silently, because he doesn't want to upset anyone... And no one notices him, because he doesn't want to.

Is he running away... from them all...?

But why?

Why?

_But... in the end, he did smile really. One more time, because finally someone notices him..._

"Hey! Allen! You came back! I didn't know!"

He smiles "I only came back from two days..."

"Two days!? Why you didn't say anything!? I can't understand you, sometimes..."

_He_ can't understand himself sometimes... so, why waste time trying to be understood from the other person if he cannot comprehend even the cause of his running away...? "Sorry..."

"Well... then, welcome back! I'm glad!"

"Welcome... back...?"

But someone waits him, someone wants him, someone _cares_ for him. And not only one, a lot of people. He can smile, now, because his friends are with him, he can smile...

...and live.

Because he isn't alone... and he knows that.

_Why life._

_even so hard to bear,_

_leaves in your heart_

_that delightful sensation...?_

**Fin**

**Well? How was it? I really like how I wrote that... but even bad comments are accepted! I don't know why I put this title (just to be), but I like that... when I wrote something, the idea just came... it can be even insensate, and I must read again when I stop writing, because I didn't remember what I wrote... it's stupid, right? I'm a crazy person... **

**So, reviews! (And if you read that put_ 1_ damn review! Because it isn't so hard to do!!) **

**Thanks!**

**:D AcqueCristalline **


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